How To Get Your Man On Board


Elaine Otrofanowei is a Fertility and Women's Health Acupuncturist with a strong and personal interest in peri/menopause. Through; she provides Acupuncture and Functional Medicine to patients to help them restore their health and wellbeing and specialise in the treatment of both male and female infertility and other women’s health issues.

May 10, 2022

How to Get Your Partner Onboard When Trying to Conceive

Ask Your Partner If He Actually Wants to Have a Child

Although you may feel resistant to doing this, having a very frank discussion with your partner to
gauge his level of commitment will help you to open the lines of communication about his level of
interest in actually making a child. Women often get frustrated at their partners for not doing what
they want them to do, but sometimes men can feel that having a child is being pushed onto them.
Then they resent the woman for making them make changes they don’t want to do and the
relationship then suffers.

Most likely he will say that yes, he does want a child, but actually giving him the place to say yes,
no, or maybe, will allow him to be empowered and feel like he’s making a choice. You can then
discuss with him what you might need to do together for preconception care or to improve your
fertility and what steps you may need to take.

If he does want a child but isn’t willing to make any changes to his health, you may need some
professional advice to educate him on why this would be beneficial to your conception efforts and
for the health of your baby. If you force him to make changes he doesn’t want to, you won’t get to
where you need to get to. If having a conversation together isn’t helpful, then seeing a counsellor
may also be a good option.

How To Convince Your Partner To Give Up Or Change Poor

Fast Food

Dietary And Lifestyle Habits

All men are different, so what will work to encourage one man to make healthy lifestyle choices
will be different to the next.

Here are a few different suggestions:

  • Show him the research which proves that poor lifestyle choices are detrimental to sperm health
  • Have a semen analysis done. If any of the parameters are out of range then it’s imperative that these substances are avoided while trying to conceive (and for 3-4 months before) try to organise social events for you and your partner which will improve your lifestyle and won’t tempt you with poor lifestyle choices, such as these:
  1. Go for a walk
  2. Book in a spa treatment with friends
  3. Do a regular yoga class together
  4. Have a weekend away in nature

If you are going to a bar or restaurant, here are some ideas for how to avoid unhealthy choices (and
to not make it obvious to your friends):

  1. Buy your own drinks – don’t let other people buy you a drink
  2. Order a drink which looks like an alcoholic drink – such as soda and lime, which could be mistaken for vodka, soda and lime or a gin and tonic. Orange or cranberry juice could be mistaken for Vodka and orange/cranberry.
  3. Tell people you are doing a month off alcohol ie. Dry January

How To Encourage Your Man Not to Eat Junk Food And Fast Food

There are 3 obvious times that someone might make poor food choices:

  1. When they’re hungry (or hangry!)
  2. When there are no better options
  3. Needing an after dinner snack

So the more you can do to prevent these situations, the less chance people will make
unhealthy food choices. Here are some tips to avoid these from occurring:

• Always have snacks (such as nuts and dried fruit) on hand in the following places:

  • In the office drawer
  • In the bag/briefcase
  • In the car
  • At home

• Take lunch to work – cook up meals on the weekend (or take leftovers) in a thermos to work

• Have healthy after-dinner snacks on hand such as fruit, berries, yoghurt, bliss balls, a herbal tea drink – or go to bed before you get hungry again

How To Persuade Him To Take Supplements

Ok, we’re stereotyping and generalising here (and there are many exceptions to this), but
usually men will agree to do anything if it isn’t an effort for them! So, in our experience, in
the vast majority of couples, the way a man will take his supplements is by the female partner
putting his supplements out on the bench/table every morning and night, with a glass of water
next to them.
We recommend investing in some pill boxes to make it easier to divvy out your supplements
once per week, one pill box for you and one for your partner (or maybe 2 each if you take
supplements morning and night).
It can be tricky in the beginning to get him onboard with supplements, but we often find that
he’ll start feeling better after a short time of taking them and may actually notice his health
declining when he doesn’t take them.

How To Get Your Man To Realise The Importance Of Timing Sex With Ovulation

Here are some suggestions:

  • Share your charting app with him. Depending on the app, he may be alerted when you are fertile
  • Leave a special something on his pillow or somewhere he’ll see it when he walks in the door some ideas might be a love letter, a heart, some sexy undies, a flower, some movie tickets, a dinner reservation, a healthy treat, a present, some zinc tablets with a bow around it (as a joke as these are good for sperm health)… and any other fun ways you can think of!

How To Help Your Man To Care A Little More…

In the conversation we mentioned earlier about asking your Man his level of commitment, also ask him to imagine a life where he wasn’t a Dad. Get him to really explore that so that he understands the impact of not having a family on him and your relationship. This will get him in touch with the consequences of his actions. It’s such a small time in your life where you both need to be making sacrifices to create a little human, so get the perspective and remind him he has the rest of his life to have whatever lifestyle choices he chooses.

Your relationship is the most important

How To Minimise The Strain On Your Relationship While TTC…

Remember that your relationship is the highest priority. If your relationship doesn’t survive the time while you’re TTC then this is potentially going to create further problems. There is a lot of resentment that can breed while you’re TTC and to minimise this it requires ongoing communication and generosity. For example, if your partner takes his supplements 6 out of 7 days each week, don’t focus on the 1 day he didn’t take them. Or if he has had a rough week and has a beer on a Friday night, it’s not the end of the world, that the one beer isn not going to ruin your chances of conception. Nobody is perfect and they can’t follow the rules 100% of the time.

Information from

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